"For the Just one falls seven times, and rises again" Proverbs 24:16
While I am not suggesting that I am a "just one" I do believe in the Lord and I try. You see, we are all just one fall away from being aware of the reality of the physical and the spiritual. I am all too aware of the physical. I try to be totally focused on the spiritual, for in the spiritual I find rest, sanctuary, hope and release from the earthly cruelties at times.
I have discovered that if I am not 100% perfect and able bodied, then I am tossed out like a broken dish. I am not usable. I am actually quite surprised by the lack of contact, regard, inquiry, concern over my present condition. I forgive, as I understand the truth in all of this. It was once told to me that all a person really needs is a handful of people who care, in order to keep going. Fortunately, I have not reached the point in my injury that I have to pay for people to care for me, on a personal level.
But, my life is changing, and changing rapidly. I am grateful for my partner Steve as he is here, and he is securing my existence at present. I am grateful for my children as they are there in the wings, cheering me on as best they can. It is hard for them, as I have been a place to rest in a storm, and capable of picking up the slack in the lines that keep their sails aloft.
What do I fear? The lack of direction in my life. I am not capable of seeing that the Lord has the tethers firm in His grip, or that He can direct the winds according to His plan. I fear the failings of human beings. I have witnessed it over and over again. The failure to do what is right, therefore leaving people in a disabled state. My injury did not have to be a permanent one. I could have and should have returned to work within 2 months of the injury. I am now going on 9 months, and I no longer really have a career. While I am hopeful that someone will see the value in my work, abilities and contributory excellence, it is doubtful, as they will first see my physical limitations, just as the many who have abandoned me have. How do I financially support myself?
This is how; "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
I am holding firm to the belief that the plan has already been put into place. I will rise again on the wings of eagles and I will spread the good news, declaring His power over my life. No evil shall befall you, no pain come near, for the angels are close by your side, guarding you always and bearing you gently, watching over your life!