Friday, July 5, 2013

On Being ME,

For those of you first tuning in to Flower and Stone, you are probably unaware that when I reference ME, I am not necessarily focused on a "narcissistic reference, but, merely shortening my name. Mary E.

Flower and Stone is the title of my first published work and reflects a poetic look at my life over a span of about 7 years. There is additional poetry, blog posts, essays, that never made it into the collection from that time, but, the pieces that I chose best represent the ME that existed during that time.

I am now turning yet another corner and I am going through another period of spiritual awakening. I am more assured of my place in the world and am freer than I have ever been. The past 8 months of my life have been hard as I have been reduced physically by a disability. The ME that I was moments before the fall were free wheeling, running, spinning, rarely stopping in the physical sense. Now, do not get me wrong, I was also mentally, emotionally and spiritually much the same way. But, what being limited physically has done for me is that I have been forced to rely upon others in a way that I have never allowed myself to do before. My self-reliance that I have worn as a sense of pride, has been diminished and my reliance upon God has once again been the force that I cling to. For the first time I can with 100% certainty see the hand print of God all over this period in my life.

Now, do not get me wrong, my stoic proclamation of this moment is exactly that. In the moment. There have been moments when I have collapsed on my bed in absolute tears, fear, sadness, pity, anger, and loss. But, in those moments, I feel a profound sense of, "go ahead and cry Mary, you have every right to, but, trust me,  I have your back!" Yes, He does. He continues to whisper in my ear and when I stop listening to ME and listen to HIM, I am comforted by his hand and restored with His sweet refreshment.

Be encouraged, that is what I need to say, to feel, to share. Be encouraged.

This journey, with ME will be the randomness with which I live my daily life. My goals, focus, routine, they are all set. But, like a butterfly who has a set flight pattern and approach to the natural process, you will find that it flits and flutters randomly, being swept away by the wind now and then and landing, then setting off again. Without fail, it will do all that it needs to do in its day and all will be fine.

Unlike many who study the Lord's teachings like a child who must read a text book sequentially and only be the guidance of someone with a title, I read it like I read the world, moment by moment and with a random dance. So it will be in this blog.

More tomorrow,

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